Why go to a monastery? | Ajahn Candasiri

This is a question we should all ask ourselves, whether we are monks, nuns, novices or visitors. Why did we come? We need to be clear about this so that we can benefit better than a monastery has to offer. If we don't have this clear we can waste a lot of time doing things that can diminish the possible benefits that are found here .

The Buddha spoke of three fires, three finds that afflict human beings. These fires make us move constantly, they don't let us rest or relax. They are: covetousness, hatred and illusion, in languagepalī, lobha, dosa and moha. Out of compassion, the Buddha also clarified what the antidote was. In fact, these three fires are based on natural instincts. For example, greed or sensual desire, sexual energy and desire for food are what allow the human being to survive. Without sexual desire none of us would be here now! And of course, without hunger or craving for food we would not be led to ingest the nutrition we need to keep the body in a reasonable state of health. However, the difficulty arises when we lose sensitivity to what is necessary and seek sensual gratification by itself.

Another type of survival instinct is our response to danger, whether we face or attack what is perceived as a threat to our survival, or try to escape. This is the basis for dosa, hatred or aversion. Clearly this also has an important place in nature. But once again, we are confused and what we end up defending is not so much the physical body, but the sense of the personal self that we perceive about ourselves, in relation to the other.

The third fire, which very naturally precedes the previous two, is illusion, moha. It is not really seeing clearly or not understanding the way things really are, not really realizing what it is to be a Human Being. We tend to see ourselves and others as personalities, or ‘mes’. But these are just ideas or concepts, which we re-dimension in relation to other concepts of who or what we should be. So if someone comes and challenges this 'I', it can create a strong reaction in us; We instinctively attack, defend ourselves, or try to escape the presumed threat. Really, it's kind of crazy , when you think about it.

As I mentioned, having the Buddha mentioned the nature of the disease, he also mentioned healing. This has been transmitted in the form of simple teachings, which can help us to live in a way that enables us to know, and therefore free ourselves from these diseases and also avoid doing things that aggravate them.

This leads me to the real reason that brings us to a monastery. We want to free our hearts from disease, from the bonds of desire and confusion: We recognize that what is offered to us here is the possibility of accomplishing this. Of course, there may be other reasons: Some people don't really know why they came, they just feel attracted to the place.

So, what's going on in the monastery that's different from what's going on outside it?… It's a place that reminds us of our aspiration and potential. There are the beautiful images of the Buddha and his disciples, which seem to radiate a feeling of calmness, tranquility and alertness. Also here we find a community of monks and nuns who decided to live following the lifestyle that the Buddha recommended to cure these diseases.

Having recognized that we are sick and that we need help, we begin to see that healing is in the opposite direction to the ways of the world. We see that if we are going to heal ourselves, we must first understand the cause of the disease, which is desire. So we need to understand our desires to be free and to be a separate Self from them. So instead of following our desires, we examine them closely.

The discipline we follow is based on precepts, which, used wisely, create a sense of dignity and self-respect. They restrain actions or words that are harmful to ourselves and others, and outline a pattern of simplicity or renunciation. We ask ourselves ‘What do I really need?’ instead of responding to the pressures of materialistic society.

But how do the precepts help us to perceive these three fires? In a way, what our monastic discipline offers us is a receptacle with which we can observe desire as soon as it arises. We deliberately put ourselves in a way that, by preventing us from following all our desires, allows us to identify them and observe how they change. Usually, when we are caught up in the process of desires, there is no notion of objectivity. We tend to be fully identified with them and so it is very difficult to identify them or to do anything about them. Instead, we are usually dragged along by them.

So, as in the case of lust or aversion, we can recognize that these are natural energies that everyone has. We are not saying that it is wrong, for example, to have sexual desire or even to follow it in the appropriate circumstances, but we recognize that this is for a particular purpose and that it will bring a certain result. As monks and nuns we have decided that we do not want to have children. We also recognize that the pleasure of gratification is very fleeting in relation to responsibilities and possible long-term implications. So we choose not to follow sexual desire. However, this does not mean that we do not experience it; that as soon as we shave our heads and get into a habit we immediately stop experiencing any kind of desire. In fact, what can happen is that our experience of these desires increases when we come to a monastery. This is because in lay life we can do all sorts of things to feel good, usually without being aware of what we are doing. Sometimes there is only a subtle notion of discomfort, followed by a movement towards the outside, in order to achieve something that relieves us, moving us from one thing to the next. It's not so easy to do this in the monastery anymore. We deliberately bind ourselves so that we can look at our motivations, energies, or desires, which would otherwise simply keep us moving. Now you may ask: But what kind of freedom is this? By binding ourselves in a situation where we are constantly repressed, always having to conform? Always have to behave in a certain way; to bow in a certain way and at certain times; singing at a certain speed and tone; sit in a specific place next to specific people (for fifteen years I've been sitting behind Aj.Sundara!)… What kind of freedom is this? This brings freedom from the slavery of desire. More than, without any hope, blindly being pulled back and forth by our desire, we are free to choose to act in ways that are appropriate, in harmony with those around us. It is important to understand that “liberation of desires” does not mean “having no desires”. We could feel very guilty and really struggle if we thought that way. As I said earlier, desire is part of nature, it has only been distorted as a result of our conditioning, our growth, the values of society and education. We are not going to get rid of it just because we want to, or because we feel we shouldn't have desire. This actually requires a more subtle approach. The monastic form and precepts help us to create a peaceful space around these energies so that, when they arise, they can be extinguished by lack of fuel. It is a process that requires great humility, because first we have to recognize that the desire is there, which can bring a lot of clarity about our defects. Often, particularly in monastic life, our desires can be extremely petty; The sense of our self can be brought to the surface in very trivial things. For example, we may have a very strong idea of how carrots should be cut; So if someone suggests that we do it differently we can get very upset and take a defensive attitude! We need to be very patient, very humble.

Fortunately, there are some simple landmarks, or Refuges, that can provide us with security and a sense of perspective in the midst of the chaotic world of our desires. These Refuges are evidently Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha. The Buddha, our teacher, is also the one who exists within us, who sees things as they are, clearly, not being confused or disturbed by the printed sensations; the Dhamma, the teaching or the truth, things as they really are, quite different from our ideas around them; and the Sangha, the lineage or community of those who practice, and also our aspiration to live up to what we know to be true, rather than following all kinds of confused, selfish impulses that eventually emerge.

The Buddha suggested some simple ways to transform our lives in this direction. These are called the “Foundations of Full Attention”. One of the ones I use a lot in my practice is mindfulness of the body. The body can be a very good friend because it doesn't think! The mind, with its thoughts and concepts can always confuse us, but the body is very simple and we can notice how it is in the moment. For example, if someone acts or speaks in a way that intimidates me, I can notice my instinctive reaction, which is to create tension in a defensive attitude and perhaps respond in an aggressive way. However, when I am aware of the process I can choose not to react in this way. Instead of taking a deep breath and then getting excited, I can focus on exhaling, relaxing so that I become a less threatening presence to the other person. If, through mindfulness, I can give up my defensive attitude, others can also relax rather than perpetuate the process of reactivity. In this way we can bring a little peace to the world. People who visit monasteries often mention the peaceful atmosphere they find there. But this is not because everyone feels very peaceful or experiences grace or happiness continuously; They may be experiencing all sorts of things. In fact, one sister said she had never experienced so much murderous fury or so powerful feelings of lust until she joined the monastic community! What is different in a monastery is practice. So whatever the monks and nuns are experiencing, they are at least making the effort to be with it, to bear it patiently, rather than feeling that it shouldn't be so.

The monastic form offers a situation in which renunciation and restriction are the proper conditions for the appearance of burning feelings. But there is also the presence of other samanas that help to reaffirm trust. When we are really going through some more difficult process, we can talk to a more experienced brother or sister whose answer will probably be something like this: Oh yes, don't worry about it, it will pass! That happened to me too! It's normal, it's simply part of the purification process. Be patient. Then we find the confidence to continue, even when everything seems to fall apart or everything seems completely crazy within us.

Going to a monastery we meet people who want to investigate and realize the causative origin of human ignorance, selfishness and all the abominable things that happen in the world; People who want to see inside their own hearts and witness the avarice and violence that others out there are always prepared to criticize. Through experiencing and knowing these things we learn how to make peace right here in our hearts so that they cease. So perhaps, rather than simply reacting to humanity's ignorance and contributing to the confusion and violence we see around us, we will be able to act or speak with wisdom and compassion in ways that help bring about a sense of well-being and harmony among people.

It is not, therefore, an escape, but an opportunity to turn around and face all the things we had sought to avoid in our lives. Through calmly and courageously understanding things as they are, we begin to free ourselves from doubts, anxieties, fear, avarice, hatred and everything else that constantly traps us in conditioned reactions. Here we have the support of good friends, a discipline and teachings to help us stay on a path that sometimes seems impossible to continue!

 We can all achieve true freedom. Evam.

Translation of Appamado Bhikkhu