Mature emotions | Ajahn Vajiro

The Buddha speaks in his teachings about the Brahma Viharas. These are usually translated as the divine or heavenly realms, this being an interpretation based on the literal translation: Brahma – God; Vihara – habitat, housing. The Brahma Viharas can be brought from heaven to earth if we consider that, as emotions, they impel and encourage the transcendence of the limitations of human existence. This ‘transcendence of limitation’ is a definition of growth. I can thank the seed of this idea to a friend who mentioned that Brahma Viharas (metta, karuna, mudita and upekkha) could be considered mature emotions. What follows are some additional reflections and not a detailed and comprehensive analysis of the Brahma Viharas, which can be found in books on Buddhism.

It seems clear to me that emotions are something that moves us. I think of them as something that produces, feeds, or leads us to movement. They provide the fuel that catalyzes movement or action, toward or away from a particular object or situation. We move and act through the body, speech and mind and this movement is a response to a stimulus from the senses. It is in this response that we can observe the emergence of emotions. Stimulation of the senses occurs before movement – this is called contact. A feeling arises and then a perception – this is where mature emotions come in. In Pali there is no direct translation for the word emotion. An emotion is a mixture of perception and sankhara (pattern of habit), both of which can be consciously trained and educated. Mature emotions are those emotions that constitute a developed person's response to life situations.

Sometimes the goal of Buddhism can be described in a way that leads me to think that one seeks to have a cold heart, without emotion or passion: where there is no response, feeling, desire or motivation. This conflicts with the image we have of the Buddha, as someone with a strong motivation, with compassion so strong that it led him to live a life for the benefit of other human beings.

Mature emotions are also those emotions that allow others to mature. Thus, when one acts or responds with a mature emotion, other human beings are led to transcend themselves, to grow beyond their own limitations. This sounds abstract, but when we reflect on how parents can allow their children to mature in the best possible way, we see that it is through the expression of mature emotions.

The four “mature emotions”, as explained here, can be understood in practice as being interlinked. They are divided only for convenience, so that we can analyze and explain them. They are like different aspects of the same place, different ways of describing the sky. We describe their different aspects in a way that helps us find a way to perceive them, in order to express them in our life.

Metta – kindness/kindness – when established in us, encourages us to accept ourselves and others, so that we can understand ourselves. Understanding implies wisdom and it is wisdom that allows us to find the way, go further and give up what limits and obstructs the heart. Kindness, when expressed to others, allows them to accept themselves. This is an instinctive emotional or heart acceptance, which allows the actions of the body, speech and mind (which are a response to what is seen as “others”) to be kind – not motivated by dislike, aversion or fear. The effect is boundless Metta, radiant and attractive, warming the hearts of those who are cold and refreshing the hearts of those who are too fervent.

Karuna – compassion – works by allowing us to perceive the pain, anguish, distress, agony, torment and nervousness of others in a clear way, as we let these emotions also be part of our experience, thus becoming something that moved beyond the universe of the ignored and unconscious, becoming part of the universe of the included, accepted and conscious. Compassion has the characteristic of ‘space’, allowing things to exist as they are, to transform and to cease. It particularly allows the pain to stop. This means that one must be patient, without the haste to force an end to the pain or to try to get rid of it in an intrusive way. Karuna is the active side of Wisdom and the supreme purifier. The Buddha's compassion allowed him to realize that there are still things that an enlightened being can do. It was compassion that motivated him to teach “for the benefit of those who have only a little “dust in their eyes””. Mercy can be seen as a form of compassion. It is a word not much used but evocative of the quality of the heart that is willing to bear the burdens of others, always willing to help in the best way possible, being attentive to requests for help and acting. The “requests” are sometimes not very obvious. They can be as simple as helping to prepare for an event or helping to tidy up and clean up the space after it's over. Whenever we notice that some assistance is needed and are willing to provide it, we are practicing karuna.

Mudita is usually translated as empathetic joy. Appreciation, joy and ‘bringing joy’ are words that evoke in me the qualities of the heart that are the opposite of envy and jealousy, they are the opposite of the characteristics that tend to bring someone down, subduing him to a lower level.

Mudita implies total consciousness. We need to discriminate, to be conscious, to open ourselves to the possibility of appreciation. One thing that is particularly encouraged is to be aware of the good, the virtues and the wisdom in others and in us. What mudita allows is the arising of an aspiration to be or practice the positive characteristics we observe in others. Luang By Sumedho said that when we can appreciate the beauty of a rose in full opening, we can be moved by mudita. The idea is to practice at all levels. Sometimes, when we look at a rose, we can get caught up in so-called ‘realism’ and just watch a flower wither. We can be somewhat like ‘Scrooge’ with ‘bah humbug’ (humbug), a bitter response to any suggestion that beauty can be enjoyed without falling into the desire to possess or cling. Balance arises when upekkha is present.

Upekkha – here again we refer first to the most common translation: equanimity. I prefer ‘serenity’, with the implicit suggestion of accepting limitation and rising above it. The phrase ‘be serene in the unity of the whole’ has always struck me as a beautiful suggestion for my heart, when there is frustration with the cadence of life, with the limitations of the universe, with my own limitations or those of others. There has to be a conscious acceptance of things as they are, to allow the heart to train itself to transcend that limitation.

On a mundane level, if I want to train myself to type with my ten fingers, first I have to accept that I don't have that ability right now. Only then can I honestly make an effort to learn how to train my fingers and eyes to work together automatically. If I'm not willing to accept the fact that at the moment I don't have that ability and if I still want to type with my ten fingers then I can pretend, but the only person I would be fooling would be myself. We do this on a large scale when we would like to be seen as mature and fulfilled, but we are unable to accept our limitations. We can pretend to be mature when we are in fact unsure of our emotions or intentions and allow ourselves to be driven by immature and harmful emotions. In the case of typing with ten fingers there is no real harm. In the case of the person who pretends to himself and to others that he is grown up, he is more dangerous, both to himself and to others.

The four Brahma Viharas work together. Ajahn Buddhadasa described upekkha as the one who oversees the other three. In beneficial and harmonious situations mudita is the mature motivation of the heart. If it is possible to alleviate a situation where there is pain or discomfort, we should invoke compassion (karuna). An ugly and unpleasant situation needs metta. Acceptance, one of the aspects of metta, resonates with the acceptance of limitation that is implicated in upekkha and that is why metta is such an important principle.

For most humans, and even animals, metta (as we can find in a mother's acceptance of her children) is the first emotion that enables us to grow and begin to mature. If there is no expression of metta towards our descendants, particularly towards a human child, that offspring will die quickly or become immature and perverted. This is the primary motivation that allows young people to mature. Young people express it through the way they approach and learn about the state in which they find themselves. Young children pick things up from the ground without any discriminatory sense and to the great horror of adults, put them in their mouths. In this action of the child there is a very gross level of acceptance and an absence of discrimination that operates when the child begins to crave something beyond himself.

Compassion allows us to recognize the changes and developments that are part of the natural transformations that occur as babies, children, adolescents, adults and the elderly. It also recognizes the pain of separation from what is known to us and which is part of this process, dealing with changes in a sensitive way.

Mudita allows us to enjoy life: The beauty and wonders of this strange experience of being a sensitive individual life, somehow mysteriously linked to the whole. And when we allow all fear of the unknown to fall to the ground, the wonder of the unknown is appreciated and enjoyed.

What moves us in life, between uncertainties and changes, is what brings us freedom. Our intentions move us and are the field of our greatest freedom. Using and stimulating this freedom wisely is the challenge.

Translation of Appamado Bhikkhu